Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

Melissa Balick
Melissa Balick

1.2K Followers

Home

Lists

About

Pinned

About Melissa Balick

A table of contents, neatly organized. — Thanks for reading my work! I appreciate it, and I appreciate you. You are too kind. Very attractive, as well. And I really like your shoes, so stylish. Have I told you recently how good you smell? You have the cleverest ideas. I dig your panache. Anyway, enough about you…

6 min read

About Melissa Balick
About Melissa Balick

6 min read


Published in

SYNERGY

·Apr 1, 2022

I’ve Lost My Zest for Medium After the Latest App Update

I feel oddly betrayed — It’s been a minute since Medium took away writing functionality on the app, but since they did it, I haven’t published anything here. At first, I was excited to see they were doing an update. I really hoped they might fix some of the glaring problems such as: Showing me…

Medium

3 min read

I’ve Lost My Zest for Medium After the Latest App Update
I’ve Lost My Zest for Medium After the Latest App Update
Medium

3 min read


Published in

ILLUMINATION

·Mar 15, 2022

Why Do You Lie About Having Learned to Read When You Were 3 Years Old?

Over 75% of people claim they read before first grade, but according to teachers, that’s exceedingly rare. — I’ve been a professional babysitter since 2013, and during that time, I’ve looked after at least 500 children between age 2 and 6. Do you know how many of them could read? One. And she was 5 when she learned. I’ve babysat kids primarily in California — especially the San…

Dishonesty

8 min read

Why Do You Lie About Having Learned to Read When You Were 3 Years Old?
Why Do You Lie About Having Learned to Read When You Were 3 Years Old?
Dishonesty

8 min read


Published in

Blow Your Stack

·Mar 12, 2022

Think You Hate Vegans? No One Hates Vegans More Than Other Vegans Do

Vegans mostly get their B12 from fighting amongst themselves — Good news, vegans! McDonalds has joined the ranks of fast-food establishments like Burger King, Chipotle, KFC, and Del Taco in offering a vegan version of their signature food. …

Vegan

6 min read

Think You Hate Vegans? No One Hates Vegans More Than Other Vegans Do
Think You Hate Vegans? No One Hates Vegans More Than Other Vegans Do
Vegan

6 min read


Published in

Fuck Niches

·Mar 7, 2022

How the Hell Do You Pronounce “Car Gurus”?

The commercials have me so confused — Have you ever seen a commercial for CarGurus.com? I have because I watch Jeopardy! and streaming things that have ads. The commercials are standard advertising fare: someone is mystified by something that’s actually not that hard, and a totally unnecessary product is introduced as the solution to that non-existent problem. …

Advertising

2 min read

How the Hell Do You Pronounce “Car Gurus”?
How the Hell Do You Pronounce “Car Gurus”?
Advertising

2 min read


Published in

Writers’ Blokke

·Mar 7, 2022

Was Getting Paid Thousands of Dollars to Be in a Medical Study Worth It?

It was a big hunk of cash, but I was a pin cushion — I recently participated in a medical study that paid me $3250 for a total of 7 visits. The first was a screening visit, the second an intake one, then the last five were the actual study. …

Health

5 min read

Was Getting Paid Thousands of Dollars to Be in a Medical Study Worth It?
Was Getting Paid Thousands of Dollars to Be in a Medical Study Worth It?
Health

5 min read


Published in

Fanfare

·Mar 6, 2022

How Much Longer Will We Joke About Dolly Parton’s Breasts?

There’s got to be a shelf life on these things — I was watching the game show Name That Tune recently and one of the tunes on it turned out to be “Islands in the Sun.” “Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, what a pair,” host Jane Krakowski said. “And Kenny Rogers isn’t so bad either,” she added. Har de har har…

Dolly Parton

3 min read

How Much Longer Will We Joke About Dolly Parton’s Breasts?
How Much Longer Will We Joke About Dolly Parton’s Breasts?
Dolly Parton

3 min read


Published in

ILLUMINATION

·Mar 6, 2022

Insecure in Your Masculinity? Don’t Worry, There’s Special Water For That

Finally, water and soap even men can use! — Hey bud, you doing okay? You feeling a little… insecure? What’s that you say? Reusable bottles aren’t MANLY? You want to reduce your plastic usage, but in a way that won’t make your dick fall off? Sounds like you need water so hardcore, you could drown a baby in it. …

Humor

3 min read

Insecure in Your Masculinity? Don’t Worry, There’s Special Water For That
Insecure in Your Masculinity? Don’t Worry, There’s Special Water For That
Humor

3 min read


Published in

Feedium

·Feb 21, 2022

You’ll Fail on Medium Unless It Feels Like Easy Money

This is the right attitude to be successful here — I have no real idea what my hourly wage is for writing on Medium. Sometimes an article that took me hours to write and revise makes me $10, other times I write and revise something in two hours and it earns well over $500. …

Easy Money

5 min read

You’ll Fail on Medium Unless It Feels Like Easy Money
You’ll Fail on Medium Unless It Feels Like Easy Money
Easy Money

5 min read


Published in

SYNERGY

·Feb 17, 2022

Why Do Your Favorite Articles Fail to Catch on with Readers?

We’ve all got our stories we love, but that get major views. What gives? — Sometimes you write something so profound, so original, so funny and fascinating, your fingers practically itch to click “publish.” “Surely, this one will be a hit,” you say. “It’s gonna make $500 before the end of the month.” It gets a dozen views the first day, with a solid 50%+…

Writing Tips

7 min read

Why Do Your Favorite Articles Fail to Catch on with Readers?
Why Do Your Favorite Articles Fail to Catch on with Readers?
Writing Tips

7 min read

Melissa Balick

Melissa Balick

1.2K Followers

Fiction writer with a couple stories published in literary magazines, nanny, reader of way too many books.

Following
  • Justiss Goode | Follow @GoodeWriter

    Justiss Goode | Follow @GoodeWriter

  • Mike Weisser

    Mike Weisser

  • KL Simmons

    KL Simmons

  • Thomas Gaudex

    Thomas Gaudex

  • Matthew Donnellon

    Matthew Donnellon

See all (137)

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech

Teams