List: Articles and Personal Essays by Melissa Balick | Curated by Melissa Balick

Jan 23, 2022
17 stories
Articles and Personal Essays by Melissa BalickArticles and Personal Essays
In
MuddyUm
by
Melissa Balick
My Dog Is a Time Traveler Who Has Influenced History, Art, and FilmThe photo evidence is beyond dispute
Nov 23, 2021
8
Nov 23, 2021
8
In
Fanfare
by
Melissa Balick
Celebrity Wheel of Fortune Is Pissing Me OffUsually game shows relax me & I shouldn’t even have to think about this.
Nov 21, 2021
2
Nov 21, 2021
2
In
ILLUMINATION
by
Melissa Balick
Bake These GD Vegan Treats, You F*ckThis article is both a big old “screw you” and a delightful recipe.
Sep 26, 2021
Sep 26, 2021
In
ILLUMINATION
by
Melissa Balick
I Took This Weird Little Freak of a Cat Into My HomeHow a kitten with a gross ear, messed-up eye, and crooked head became the Prince of my heart.
Sep 14, 2021
11
Sep 14, 2021
11
In
ILLUMINATION
by
Melissa Balick
This Guy’s Responses Are Hilarious, But Some of Those Life Hacks Were Obviously JokesKhaby Lame’s best videos are the ones where he’s reacting to videos that weren’t meant to be funny.
Sep 11, 2021
2
Sep 11, 2021
2
In
An Injustice!
by
Melissa Balick
Conservatives Invented Canceling People, and Now They Want to Cry About It?I should know — they got me fired from my college newspaper after 9/11.
Sep 12, 2021
3
Sep 12, 2021
3
Melissa Balick
How to Quit Smoking By Calling Yourself a Little Bitch Who Deserves to SufferA self-hating pessimist's guide to never smoking or vaping again.
Sep 8, 2021
1
Sep 8, 2021
1
In
Artisanal Article Machine
by
Melissa Balick
No, ‘The Other Side’ is Not a Metaphor for Death in the Chicken JokeFolks have suggested this interpretation of the punchline, but I doubt they’re right.
Sep 8, 2021
2
Sep 8, 2021
2
In
An Injustice!
by
Melissa Balick
Remember When Chris Isaak Sexually Assaulted Cameron Diaz on Live TV?The 1995 incident didn’t cause any controversy at the time. Now it’s painful to watch
Sep 6, 2021
12
Sep 6, 2021
12
In
it’s just foam
by
Melissa Balick
This Hat Is Giving Me an Existential CrisisAm I a punk or a poser? Also, do people still say “poser”?
Aug 31, 2021
4
Aug 31, 2021
4
In
Fanfare
by
Melissa Balick
10 Things to Watch If You Tend to Prefer BooksA reader’s guide to film and TV that’s as good or even better than the book.
Aug 28, 2021
8
Aug 28, 2021
8
In
Tell Your Story
by
Melissa Balick
I Almost Got Expelled from Preschool for Throwing a Chair at the TeacherBut do I regret it? Not really.
May 18, 2021
8
May 18, 2021
8
 This story is no longer available
In
Pop Off
by
Melissa Balick
We Surveyed 100 People, Is Family Feud For Real?The show is soooo bad. But that doesn’t stop me from watching it.
May 14, 2021
3
May 14, 2021
3
Melissa Balick
Everything You Know About Diabetes Is (Probably) Wrong…and it may harm a diabetic.
May 10, 2021
May 10, 2021
In
Creatures
by
Melissa Balick
Your Ancestors Fought Saber-Tooth Tigers, So Why Are You Scared of Kittens?A brief history of canine bravery for my scaredy-dog
May 10, 2021
2
May 10, 2021
2
In
Writers’ Blokke
by
Melissa Balick
This Otherwise Vegan Has Started Stuffing an Animal Up Her Snatch…and why other menstruators with a freakishly low cervix and tilted uterus should consider doing the same thing.
May 21, 2021
5
May 21, 2021
5